Dele Omotunde
On Election Day, I stayed glued to the electronic gadgets and devices in my Situation Room, as it were, in the famous NOMAN’S LAND, monitoring electoral events in the State of Osun OR is it Osun State OR State of the Living Spring, depending on the whims (and caprices?) of the prevailing “Charge d’Affaires” of the state.
Follow Us on Social MediaWhich one is NOMAN’S LAND, if I may ask?
Lagos, of course!
Have you forgotten so soon? You “Omo Kosoko abi Omo Akitoye ni”?.
Oh, sorry!
I remember the revisionist OBIDINU political movement that nearly toppled logic and established an hegemony built on a foundation of fallacies.
Bring it up!
No, not today. I must not put my eyes off the ball in Osun State. As I was saying before I rudely interrupted myself I fixed my “kongba” eyes on television, my “amebo” ears on radio and my “fidgety” (Parkinson?) fingers steady on the keyboard roaming the cyberspace, jumping from one social media platform to another in search of genuine contents, digital or analogue. And they were many!
One particular one caught my fancy. O my! Jesus Christ!!
And which one was that?
It is the one depicting a seemingly unruly crowd of mainstream, online and citizen journalists seeking to hear the latest from the incumbent governor. Amidst a cacophony of voices was that of an aide to the beleaguered governor. Decorum! Decorum! Decorum, pls, he shouted on top of his voice. He demanded finesse, respect and dignity from the jostling Mainstreet and roadside journalists eager to hear from Candidate Nurudeen (Michael?) Jackson Adeleke. And they heard “wen”!
Heard what?
I say they heard WEEN!
They heard a disjointed cock and bull story of a London police officer from Port Harcourt planted by APC to disrupt the election in Ede, his own constituency.
The coup de grâce…?
…And the man was hiding somewhere in Ede!
My O my!
This does not add up. Does it? How can a London police come from Port Harcourt? Hear yourself!
It is he who should listen to himself.
Really?
In fairness to him o, I think he said something to the effect that he was told by reliable sources that the policeman, a CSP, bore the nickname “London”.
Not New York? Strange and pathetic.
Yes, you are right.
But he won the election hands down! Isn’t that so?
Even legs up!
Na sour grapes dey worry una. “Fiile, gomina wa ni”. Monkey no fine but im mama and im papa and im missus like am.
As a matter of fact it was a mini landslide. The earth shook. The seismic vibrations are still being felt two days after.The people have spoken. They have chosen the leader they wanted. And they will bear the consequences.
How? TELL me TheNews!
The state is in for another four years of embarrassing pantomimes and unchoreographed chatterboxes in public by the “numero uno” of the entire citizenry.
That one na grammar.
At least the people are being entertained by the Michael Jackson stuff. Not only that, he is liked for paying the labourer’s wages as at when due.
What else?
He is tarring the dusty roads.
For where?
Roads that lead to no where except to the houses of party supporters and acolytes of different hues.
Na you sabi.
At least he is making his Ede people happy. And his family too. Learnt he may soon build an international airport on the Osun River in his hometown, first of its kind in the whole universe!
On a river?
Yes, you heard me right!
That’s it!
Decorum! Decorum!
The man lacks finesse, polish and panache! Should stop all those things that give the state a bad name even if he does not care about his. Airport on a river?! F..k shit!
Na sour grapes dey worry una. “Fiile, gomina wa ni”. Monkey no fine but im mama and im papa and im missus like am. Leave him with his “balubalu”. At least he is not paying us half salary.
“Eyin lo mo”.
Na you sabi. Na inside am you dey so. “Enu e lewa yen”.
We shall saw (sic)!
Lobatan!
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